Sapphire and Faded Jeans

Here's a new book idea.....Feedback requested please!!

2012-01-25T09:58:00.000-08:00

Alright, after struggling with a story for over 2yrs I decided to branch out and try another one of a different genre. Justifying Jeremiah (my working title) will be Christian Fiction/Romance. Someone once told me to write about what I know, what I've experienced...so here we go! Here's your teaser....

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

     It is times such as these where we find ourselves reminiscing our past and standing on our tip toes with binoculars, trying to see what's ahead. That's right; I'm talking about high school, senior year to be precise. For most, your senior year is a time to cut loose and live it up, after all, we've all been told that it's the "greatest time of our life".... One can only hope that isn't true. If so, I've been screwed by the powers that be. I look at my senior year as a time to stress and get all my ducks in a row. You would think that after eighteen years I would have some clue for my future, but as it looks right now, it's pretty darn bleak.

     My name is Rebecca, and I am a certified Stresser-Planner-OCD Senior in High School and I have no idea what my future holds...and it's killing me! Ever since I can remember I've always had a plan. I've always knows what I was going to do, where I was going to do it, and how I was going to make it happen. But due to recent financial struggles and reality hitting me in the face, my plan went down the tubes. Now, instead of attending one of the best writing colleges in the U.S. and becoming a New York Times Bestselling Author by the time I'm twenty, I'll be saying, "Hello community college!" And yes, before you open your mouth, I've heard all the crap that people spin about "other things in store", "its a sign", "there's a window open somewhere" or my personal favorite, "this is just a stepping stone to make you stronger". Honestly, that's all good and well, hurrah for getting stronger, but as I said, I have to know. I need to know....

Applications and FASFAs and Deadlines...OH MY!

2011-10-13T10:41:00.000-07:00

It has FINALLY hit me...COLLEGE is swiftly approaching, and I, for one, could not be happier!!! : >

I have narrowed down my list from Dream Schools to Realistic Ones:

DBU-Dallas Baptist University
SFA- Stephen F. Austin University
Texas Tech
UNT-University of North Texas

Those are my top places on the realistic scale...for now. Graduate School is where I will fullfill my dreams....EMERSON COLLEGE HERE I COME!! (in a few years :P )

Oops...

2011-10-11T07:01:00.000-07:00

I meant to follow up to the last post days ago....oops...

Here is what has been going on in the world of Alli Carter:

Fell in love
Fell out of love
Changed schools
Got tan
Started job hunting

So yeah...that's what has been up with me. Where should I begin? Tan! That's where I'll start off at. Well, all summer I spent as much time at the pool as I could, so that I could finally overcome my complexion. AND IT WORKED!!!!!!! I was a bronzed goddess...for a month at least haha. Now, it is fall. It is too cold to be at the pool, and my tan is gone. Darn It All!

I no longer attend Harvest Christian Academy, I now am a Byron Nelson High School Bobcat! And I could not be happier! HCA was good and their principals sounded great....but thats just it, they SOUNDED great. What was practiced and the lack of "follow through" however, was not! One individual can only take so much hypocracy, lies, and double standards before they break. Sadly enough, I reached my point. And I broke. So a change of pace was a necessity for me, and I switched from my sheltered private school life into *dramatic gasp* PUBLIC SCHOOL!!! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!!! And I could not be happier : )

Yes, I am joining the legions of the unemployed. Look out world...here I come!! So far I have applied to numerous places......and although I haven't heard a word, I will NOT be discouraged. For God has a plan for me, and even if it takes time, or I don't work anywhere, no matter what happens, I will NOT fear.

"I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you, to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Now, here's the doozie; The Love bullet point. In January, I met a fantastic man. Someone I truly consider my greatest friend. At the time, I was in a relationship with a psyco person (hehe) and he was in another country. So we just kept talking, all the time, and it was wonderful. By the time I escaped my crap-tastic relationship, he was back in the US, in NH, where he lived. Again, our friendship intensified and we kept on trucking. Months later, in July(?) he comes to TX to go to school. We are so excited because as time went on and our friendship grew, we became really close. So close in fact as to discuss possibly dating. After all, we were great friends and alike on so many views. It just seemed to make sense. So on August 24, we became "OFFICIAL" and in the beginning things were great!!! I was so happy to have met and have him close to me! It was a "reunion" of sorts. After being apart for 8mo, being inches away from each other was incredible!! Our relationship was sort-of long distince, being that he was at school and hour away. We were together Fri night- Sun afternoon. But here is where our problems began. We were both very physical people. Not in an intimiate/sexual way, but in just needing that closeness to keep us together. So, during the week, we found ourselves arguing over the stupidest stuff. Honestly, I can't remember 1/2 the things we were so bent out of shap over because it was that pointless. As the time passed, we would become much closer during the weekend, but our fighting during the week seemed to crack us just a little bit more. Well, as I said before when talking about school, a person can only take so much, and I saw our friendship slipping away. After all the pointless arguing, I just became so exhausted. No longer were the weekends spending time with my boyfriend (potential husband) it turned into hanging out with my bud. It was not fair for him to be 100% in a relationship with someone who wasn't in it all the way. I knew that the longer we were together, we would end up having a giant blow out and it wasn't going to be pretty. So I did what I NEVER wanted to do, and I hurt him in the worst way. Did I love him? YES! Did I care for him? YES! Do I want the best for him? YES! Now, you may wonder how on earth I could've broken him if I answered YES to any (not to mention ALL) of them? It's because of how I feel for him that I did it. And although it hurts like a mother now, it was the best decision for us in the long run. I know that from here on out, there is hope for us in the future. Wether it is the best freiends we once were, or for something more. But before a relationship can ensue, changes have to be made. Growing has to occur. So this is me, sitting here writing out all of this in hopes that he will read this. And hopefully, it will all make sense.

I love you Jonathan, always will, you were and hopefully will continue to be, my greatest friend.

Been Awhile....I'm begining to see a pattern in my Titles...

2011-10-08T12:39:00.000-07:00

Talk about a nightmare. I lost/forgot my password/ID for this thing months ago....and finally got it taken care of. So I'm back : ) Many things have happened since I last left you. And I will be sure to fill you in on all the details this evening, for I must leave you already : ( momma is requesting my presense at Chipotle

neglected

2011-04-12T07:36:00.000-07:00

Wow, I haven't posted anything in a long long time. My apologies, I've been all over the wall lately, it seems. Allow me to re-cap these past months: Spring Break happened, I had a FANTASTIC time in Flordia; I fell in love with a Bosnian <3 ; I found a new book series that I love; and school is almost out!! WHOOP WHOOP. I'm thinking that my next post will be a Walmart Essay that I did for my Economics class, my teacher gave me a 100 and told me that I have a real talent for writing...no really..haha, I'm kissing :P anyway, he said that I should submitt it to something, so, I think I'll post it on here first and see if I get any kid of response. Seems like a good idea....

I Have A Big Heart....SO WHAT?!

2010-12-03T21:41:00.000-08:00

As you will come to learn about me, somethings are just NOT ok. One of them is when I do what I feel is right and feel called to do it, and people try to disect it. I'm just doing what I feel needs to be done! GET OFF MY CASE! Sigh... So what, a friend is making a mistake, and i want to pray non-stop and fast for her to realize that, thats my business!

Please Pray for a friend of mine. She is going throug a really tough time and needs prayer and reassurance.

Thank you for taking the time to read this

Thanksgving Break Day 1

2010-11-22T18:16:00.000-08:00

Woke up around 9

Didn't get out of bed until 11

Caught up on DVRs

Did laundry

Did dishes

Ate

all in all, a good day :)

True Love by Phil Wickham

2010-11-19T15:50:00.000-08:00

I'm listening to True Love by Phil Wickham, it is currently my favourite song in the universe!!! It has such a good message and moves me to tears.

Today was eventfull! Tis be the day we get out for Thanksgiving Break!!! WHOOP WHOOP!!!! Since the 11th grade did not do a party, during last period, we went around to all the other classes that was doing a party and chilled with them. Great fun. Then, I completly re-organized and cleanedc Mrs. Colvin's room, it looks auh-some. Goverment was looking a little bleak, there was a quiz and I was supposed to give my presentation on Goverment Styles in Ancient Greece. But, since it is almost Thanksgiving, Coach Farris was generous and told me I could do it when we got back. I promptly did my happy dance in my chair and was judged by my classmates haha. The quiz wasn't bad, I did well :) But what was REALLY suprising was in Algebra2, there was a quiz....and....I....NAILED IT!!!! YEAH YEAH!!! I was so pleased :) in Theatre Production, the Christmas Around the World globe got all painted and looks purdy. After lunch, my new best friend, Matt Stacy, gave me a pack of starbursts!!!! Totally random and Totally loved!!! THANKS HUN!!

In an hour and a half, the gang and I are going to kick off Thanksgiving Break with a party! What shall we do? WATCH SCARY MOVIES! That's right :D me, the one person that almost pees her pants in Signs, is going to watch scary movies!! SOOO EXCITED!!! ADRANALIN RUSH!!! Plus, Blake may come. Which is fantastic! I truly hope he comes; haven't seen him in a while :/

Oh well, I'm off to be productive :)

Farewell Friends, Later Loves

Chillin with the 8th graders

2010-11-18T12:08:00.000-08:00

Right now, I am in Mrs. Colvin's room with the 8th grade Bible class. They are a crazy group. I've done all my work in last period for the week so I'm just hangin out.

This has been a crazy week, school related. Alot has happened and alot has changed. I find myself becoming intolerant of idiocy. Well, not necessarliy intolerant, but not as open to it as I usually am. I find myself being short with people (not in reference to height :P ) It makes me sad because there are many friends that I have and people that I know, that I honestly don't want much to do with anymore, and it hurts. But I don't know what to say to them.

Tonight, Claire has her first basketball game as point guard!! I am so excited for her!! I really want to go, but I have alot of Algebra to catch up on. Dang :{

Later Loves! Farewell Friends!

GROW UP!

2010-11-17T14:06:00.000-08:00

Been A While...

2010-11-14T15:17:00.000-08:00

Hello Everyone!

These past few days have been good. I've gotten alot accomplished with school work; the weather has been lovely; cleaned my room; took a few walks; re-read a book (of course); and re-organized all my binders; made some head-way on the 3 books I've got in the works...it's been very productive :)

Today, the ever-wonderful Glen Jones, told me at church that I need to update this thing. So, here I am. He is absolutly awesome and makes me smile all the time. Here's a shout-out to Glen!!! WHOO HOO!! GO GLEN!!

Haha, that was fun :D gotta love to laugh.

Friday, after school, there was light rain, cloudy, windy...basically the weather I prefer. So, what do I do? Naturally, I go for a walk on the trails/woods by my house. I saw a crane where the stream had filled up from the rain and decided to stalk it. I went off the trails, into the brush, over and under trees (I felt like an incredibly awesome person) all the while, silently stalking the bird...UNTIL, I sneezed and tripped over a fallen log...jeez... You could say that I got muddy :D The crane flew off :(

Then, Friday night, Delaney and i went to Southlake and saw Due Date. And, I gotta say, I wasn't real impressed. The only funny parts were in the trailer, the rest was lame and innapropriate...GOOD ONE HOLLYWOOD

I've decided which college I would LOVE to attend!! Emerson College, in Boston. They are #1 in Creative Writing, Literature, and Publishing. Which are, conviently, everything I am interested (except perhaps Art History and Medival/Ancient History) Emerson is in the heart of Boston's theatre and historical district! YAY!

Gotta go

Later Loves

What can I do to pass the time?

2010-11-09T15:55:00.000-08:00

Depressing moment in my life right now...I have read all my books *gasp* I feel empty....

Today was a good day, for the most part. I woke up, went to school, did fantastic in American Lit, stayed awake in World Views (not an easy task mind you), lunch, Theatre Production was good (made a set design), chapel, and Foreign Language. Today was very productive :)

Then I came home...*sigh*...I wish I could say that everything was just peachy and that I was on my way to the varsity basketball games tonight, BUT I'm not :( Claire and I butted heads again and something not very good came out of my mouth (TOTAL ACCIDENT!!!!!) and she ran off to my mother to ask what it meant. Great...

Now, I'm sentenced to my room for the remainder of the night...like I am 5 years old. Did she get in trouble, NO! How could you even ask that?

Oh well, what do I normally do when I'm holed up in my room...hmm...I READ! BUT I CAN'T DO THAT!!!! AHHHHHH

Moments that make you take a step back and re-evaluate

2010-11-07T16:50:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had your heart broken?

Been confused?

Been Lost?

Not understood where you are in life?

Not understood why you are, where you are?

Ever wondered why you aren't happy?

Wanted to run away?

For me, I feel all those tonight. If you care to read this, don't worry, this is not my final goodbye, I don't care much for suicide. This is just a way to release my pent up emotions. Bare with me. In this post I will answer all the questions I wrote at the beginning. Starting with: Have you ever had your heart broken?

Suprisingly enough, this has NOTHING to do with a guy. But everything to do with a much stronger bond: Family. I love my family so much it hurts, but even as I write this, and tears stream down my face, I hurt. One thing I will never understand is why people don't mesh well. I am referring to my little sister and I. Claire is here because of me, at least that's the way I see it. I asked for her as a birthday present...and BAM, nine months later, baby. I look at her is my darling little sister that I wanted and recieved. I love her like crazy, but we just do not get along, and it kills me. I do not understand it!!! I do ALL the things a good big sister should do, but it either goes unnoticed, unappreciated, or misconstrued. I'm ready to just give up. We fight, and I die a little. She yells, I die a little. She abuses (yes, the younger one is the bully) me infront of my high school, and I die a little. It's gotten so bad that I want absolutly nothing to do with her. And it breaks my heart.

An amazing thing just happened. As I was writing that and warring with myself on what to do or say, my father and Claire came into my room with an answer as to why today has been really emotinal (i'll give more info on the day later). They came to the conclusion that the devil has been trying to drive a wedge bewteen us all. They had some really good points. We are a really close-knit family, we share everything and keep nothing secret, and above everything else, we love each other. And that's hard to come by. As they were telling me this, tears welled up in my eyes; they didn't fall until Claire crawled in my lap and said, "instead of arguing, we're going to hug." I lost it. The tears fell like a dam that had broken, and I grabbed onto her for dear life. my chest shook and my body heaved. But I didn't let her go. A few minuets later, my dad and Claire both left me to think. The tears still have not stopped.

An hour ago, there was a family arguement and I was so mad and hurt that I left for a "walk", what I was really doing was trying to decide where I would go, and run away. I asked God why things happened, and why I felt the way I did. And, at the time, I didn't think I was getting an answer. Then I came home to my dad in the driveway, and talked. We only scratched the surface on what's been bothering me, but for now, it will suffice. Then I came inside to more Claire-drama. Now, you are caught up, I immediatly came to my room and began writing. This is a form of release for me.

If you have kept up with what I'm saying, then bless you!

Anyway, what I am getting at is this, God told me, through my family, that everything is ok, and not to worry, and to not give up. "Not give up"...dang...that's something that I would have never considered until a few hours ago. I wanted a response from God immeadiatly that would fix my problems. But, instead, he waited until I was back home to use my family in a very impactful way.

I will never forget this.

Ugh, my eyes and nose are running like a faucet (gross) Forgive me, but I'm not going to answer the rese of my questions because I discovered the answers and solutions by the first question. I hope that if you're reading this, and you've felt the same way about something lke this before, that you take this as a form of comfort.

If you would like to talk, I am here. Feel free to comment or email :)

Sunday Morning

2010-11-07T08:42:00.000-08:00

Hello world!

Thank the Lord for daylight savings! <3

Yesterday, I mentioned going to Sonic with Sierra and saying hi to my people and Stefan, then Sierra and I went to Southlake. Sadly, we did not stay for very long. I came home and started cleaning...tedious task. Anyway, I made the house perfection. AND i baked cookies haha. Went to bed, book in hand, around 10.

This morning, I should've gone to churce, but could not get my lazy butt moving :( I shall be in attendance tonight though. So far I have made breakfast, cleaned the kitchen again haha. And messed around on the computer, mostly looking up songs and singing very loudly :D

The #1 thing on my ToDo List for today is go around to random people's houses and ask if I can hang signs of encouragement on their fences. It is a fabulous idea, there are so many people that go through out their lives without a compliment, reassurance, or a smile. It is my goal to put a stop to that and impact as many people as I can...call it Community Outreach or a Fabulous Idea :)

My (not-so-secret) love :)

2010-11-06T14:09:00.000-07:00

I'm sure this comes as a suprise to most of you, but i love books! It's not just the stories i love, but the physical books. I do not care one bit for Nooks or any other hand held readers; before we know it, books will be a thing of the past and everything will be electronic, i suppose it is a form of nostalgia. Oh well, that's one of my many opinions on the subject.

I have to admit, my favorite author is Nicholas Sparks. We have a love-hate relationship. I love him for being a fantastic and romantic writer, BUT I HATE HIM for killing at least one person in every book *sigh* I mean, I get the face that that a "good" book has love and loss in it, but seriously...I can predict who, when and why a character will die before I even read the book. Yet, I continue to go back time and time again to buy his latest book...explain that one to me haha.

A never-ending question that will always plauge me is this, "Why do people like to make fun of people who read?" And, yes, I am asking this for personal reasons. I get made fun of, but I'm not bitter about it, I'm just curious as to why. Readers are usually quiet and don't bother other people. What reason is there? Oh, wait, "Leaders are Readers" or "Readers are Leaders" ( however that saying goes) could that be one of the reasons that upset people? Or maybe it's the fact that readers have a much larger vocabulary and tend to be a tad bit brighter thatn the average person. Therein may lie the problem....Should that be the case? I hope not...it's lame.

If you are reading this...do you like to read? If so, what is your favorite book? Or author?

Later Loves <3

how much is 2580 kilometers in miles

2010-11-06T10:13:00.000-07:00

Haha, That is not really my Title, I just found it to be completely random :) This is my first blog! And I am at this moment debating on what to write...oh well, I decided to do a blog because my best girl friend, Sierra, did one and...why not? Haha! Today, Sierra and I are going to Sonic to stop by and say hi to some friends and then go to Southlake. Stefan Byrne is going to meet us at Sonic so we can all reminisce. Stefan just got back from Army bootcamp, so that is exciting. I promise to write some more meaningful stuff later, but for now, I must depart :)